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Submitted on
December 29, 2013


5,374 (4 today)
723 (who?)
psychology defines schizophrenia
as an impairing, delusional disorder
borne in the person’s inexorable inability
to tell right from wrong,
hopeless fantasy from harsh reality,
or even suspicion from acceptance

but aspen is a lovely, flexible woman
with names of imperial animal races
that never belonged to them,
with the countless colors of her eyes that
she makes up with named numbers
written in cursive sharpie on her palms

she takes pills that seem to
dampen & take away those charming
things she always says to me;
the voices don’t haunt or tease her,
they’ve always respected the way she
counted with willpower & the way she lived

psychology defines schizophrenia
as a disorder in which one cannot escape
their head long enough to
stop the thoughts of self-destruction,
to halt the onset of war on their
bodies as the asphalt hits their head

but aspen is a star amid the wreckage
when she asks you to hold her
until she can’t hear the bad numbers
crunching her ears into little
poor, frostbitten pieces
& maybe she could fall asleep with her love

she has surmounted the galaxies
& has seemingly swallowed them whole,
stating they tasted like glass & the number 343
written in green like flowers eaten by
butterfly wings until the sunlight bites the dust
& nothing matters anymore (not even the bad numbers)

psychology defines schizophrenia
as a disorder where one cannot care
for themselves, let alone help out
& keep up with others who have a life to live
with the normality of the commonplace
household with such absence of color

but aspen, she knows life like no other;
she holds on like a lion to a broken gazelle’s
bones, & she knows the difference between
the night sky & the dark grass tickling her
flip-flop clad & sock bound feet
as she hums the alphabet to the national anthem

i don’t care what psychology defines
this horrific “schizophrenia” as –
there is no horror in her supposed disorder,
no fear in her diagnosed insanity,
no psychosis in her verdicts, & there is only
splendor in her insights that break set limitations

& are revised in my history, anticlockwise
until i can’t inhale under the vast
beauty of her strung-together decrees
of her discernments that just don’t seem worthy
of this indecent world that dares to define her as
Psychology's take on the disorder of schizophrenia, and then the narrator's. Do you see a flaw with the usage of the word 'diseased' being thrown at that girl? 

Edit 1: OH MY GOSH. 39 favourites?! Gah, you guys make me want to cry. Thank you so much for all the favorites and kind comments! You have made my day!

Edit 2: I AM NOW CRYING. Thank you so much, you all! 53 favourites. Thank you..

Edit 3: A DAILY DEVIATION?! :iconspazattackplz: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THANKFUL I AM FOR ALL OF YOU! :iconletmehugyouplz:

Edit 4: I just want to clarify that, for one, I am not promoting or romanticizing mental disorders. I was trying to make light of the disorder rather than just dwelling in its presence in a negative way. I realize that schizophrenia is nothing to romanticize and that's most certainly not part of my intentions. Both myself and my significant other have suffered from mental disorders for most of our lives (and hers matches Aspen's sometimes), therefore, I understand completely what I'm putting out there. 

Lastly, this is NOT psychology's exact, precise definition of schizophrenia, however, parts of these definitions are in the actual definition. This is more or less society's point of view on the disorder as they like to only point out the negatives rather than promoting the fact that there is a way to soften its affects. 

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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-01-01
schizophrenia? by *atlas-ficta ( Suggested by homunculus888 and Featured by DorianHarper )
As in Taoist faith, there is a yin and a yang to schizophrenia. The author clearly understands the yang of schizophrenia, in an intimate way, and is unafraid to present the yin as it reflects. A moving homage to the love of his life. The line about the numbers crunching in the woman's head is a beautifully tragic way of describing the confusion and extreme assault faced by people with schizophrenia when they're overwhelmed by more information than the human mind ordinarily processes on a conscious level. The author shows great promise, and I, for one, would like to see what the author comes up with in the future.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
41 out of 46 deviants thought this was fair.

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TheAwkwardFangirl Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
To me, this is humorously beautiful. It's like laughter though stained glass. Just, I love it. +fav  
crooked-clockwork Feb 3, 2014   General Artist
Thank you.
TheAwkwardFangirl Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This has left me speechless.
You've taken me beyond what could be described as "rational" and "sane", into what I can only call a wonderland of mixed emotions and morbid beauty.
After reading this three times repeatedly, I showed this to my mother and told her to also read it, and I found her just as full of awe as I was, even though I had to translate some of the words since her native tongue is not English.
On her behalf, and on mine, I want to congratulate you for making something so unique and so oddly comforting.
crooked-clockwork Feb 2, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much! :aww:
RadioactivePills Jan 22, 2014  Student General Artist
Wow. I'll be honest, I rarely ever read things written on dA. I'm more of a writer, not a reader, odd as it sounds.
But for some reason, I stopped at yours while scrolling.
And I read it. All of it. And it gave me the kind of chills I can't describe.
Very well written. Thank you for sharing your talents. <3 Take care cx
crooked-clockwork Jan 22, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much! :aww:

RadioactivePills Jan 26, 2014  Student General Artist
No problem <3
SuzukiShiba Jan 17, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia a while ago now. It's been a long, tiring journey with this condition, but my psychiatrist and therapist have been wonderful help to me. It's hard to accept it and live with it, but I try not to see it as something completely negative. I always found art to be very therapeutic for me as I could express what I was going through with it. And even though some days can be a nightmare, I don't see it as something that stops me from being who I am or from stopping my life being a success. People used to bully me about it, which made me feel very negative about it at the time and in turn made my voices constantly tell me I was a failure and that I wouldn't get anywhere in life. I was determined not to let this be true. And I showed them. I studied as hard as I could and got 98.3% in my university level paleontology exam. It might not be a whole lot to other people, but to me this was proof that I wasn't going to give in and be a 'failure'. So I'm happy with what has happened and am starting to see life more positively now.

This was a very nice poem for me to read. It is very beautifully written and you have a lot of talent for writing. I think it will also encourage people to see schizophrenia in a different light. Thank you for writing this. :)
crooked-clockwork Jan 17, 2014   General Artist
You have such a beautiful story. :hug:

Thank you so much for your kind comment. :aww:
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