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Submitted on
December 29, 2013
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psychology defines schizophrenia
as an impairing, delusional disorder
borne in the person’s inexorable inability
to tell right from wrong,
hopeless fantasy from harsh reality,
or even suspicion from acceptance

but aspen is a lovely, flexible woman
with names of imperial animal races
that never belonged to them,
with the countless colors of her eyes that
she makes up with named numbers
written in cursive sharpie on her palms

she takes pills that seem to
dampen & take away those charming
things she always says to me;
the voices don’t haunt or tease her,
they’ve always respected the way she
counted with willpower & the way she lived

psychology defines schizophrenia
as a disorder in which one cannot escape
their head long enough to
stop the thoughts of self-destruction,
to halt the onset of war on their
bodies as the asphalt hits their head

but aspen is a star amid the wreckage
when she asks you to hold her
until she can’t hear the bad numbers
crunching her ears into little
poor, frostbitten pieces
& maybe she could fall asleep with her love

she has surmounted the galaxies
& has seemingly swallowed them whole,
stating they tasted like glass & the number 343
written in green like flowers eaten by
butterfly wings until the sunlight bites the dust
& nothing matters anymore (not even the bad numbers)

psychology defines schizophrenia
as a disorder where one cannot care
for themselves, let alone help out
& keep up with others who have a life to live
with the normality of the commonplace
household with such absence of color

but aspen, she knows life like no other;
she holds on like a lion to a broken gazelle’s
bones, & she knows the difference between
the night sky & the dark grass tickling her
flip-flop clad & sock bound feet
as she hums the alphabet to the national anthem

i don’t care what psychology defines
this horrific “schizophrenia” as –
there is no horror in her supposed disorder,
no fear in her diagnosed insanity,
no psychosis in her verdicts, & there is only
splendor in her insights that break set limitations

& are revised in my history, anticlockwise
until i can’t inhale under the vast
beauty of her strung-together decrees
of her discernments that just don’t seem worthy
of this indecent world that dares to define her as
“diseased”
Psychology's take on the disorder of schizophrenia, and then the narrator's. Do you see a flaw with the usage of the word 'diseased' being thrown at that girl? 

Edit 1: OH MY GOSH. 39 favourites?! Gah, you guys make me want to cry. Thank you so much for all the favorites and kind comments! You have made my day!

Edit 2: I AM NOW CRYING. Thank you so much, you all! 53 favourites. Thank you..

Edit 3: A DAILY DEVIATION?! :iconspazattackplz: THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW THANKFUL I AM FOR ALL OF YOU! :iconletmehugyouplz:

Edit 4: I just want to clarify that, for one, I am not promoting or romanticizing mental disorders. I was trying to make light of the disorder rather than just dwelling in its presence in a negative way. I realize that schizophrenia is nothing to romanticize and that's most certainly not part of my intentions. Both myself and my significant other have suffered from mental disorders for most of our lives (and hers matches Aspen's sometimes), therefore, I understand completely what I'm putting out there. 

Lastly, this is NOT psychology's exact, precise definition of schizophrenia, however, parts of these definitions are in the actual definition. This is more or less society's point of view on the disorder as they like to only point out the negatives rather than promoting the fact that there is a way to soften its affects. 

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Daily Deviation

Given 2014-01-01
schizophrenia? by *atlas-ficta ( Suggested by homunculus888 and Featured by DorianHarper )
:iconmutagenicmonster:
As in Taoist faith, there is a yin and a yang to schizophrenia. The author clearly understands the yang of schizophrenia, in an intimate way, and is unafraid to present the yin as it reflects. A moving homage to the love of his life. The line about the numbers crunching in the woman's head is a beautifully tragic way of describing the confusion and extreme assault faced by people with schizophrenia when they're overwhelmed by more information than the human mind ordinarily processes on a conscious level. The author shows great promise, and I, for one, would like to see what the author comes up with in the future.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
47 out of 52 deviants thought this was fair.

The Artist has requested Critique on this Artwork

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:iconlashdragon:
lashdragon Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2015  Hobbyist
Lovely!
Reply
:iconshashankrajwade:
shashankrajwade Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Wow!!!! Loved Aspen!!
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2014   General Artist
^_^
Reply
:iconpuddlethecat:
puddlethecat Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is beautiful, I come from a family of mental disorders ( i hate the word disorder, makes one feel stupid don't you think) and this truly captures schizophrenia as a whole. People describe people with schizophrenia as crazy and not wanting the see the person under the problem. So all in all, this is a truly beautiful poem. :3
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner May 18, 2014   General Artist
Thanks so much! :aww:
Reply
:iconpuddlethecat:
puddlethecat Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
your welcome :D, I hope my poetry can be as good as yours!!!
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner May 18, 2014   General Artist
Merci, ah, you flatter me. :aww:
Reply
:iconpuddlethecat:
puddlethecat Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Would you please check out my poetry ( started doing it today) and tell me your thoughts/suggestions? I want to get as much input as possible so I can get better :D
Reply
:iconpuddlethecat:
puddlethecat Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I do because you deserve it , I try to write a poem about this kind of thing and it fails
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner May 18, 2014   General Artist
Sure. I'm sure you don't fail. :aww: 
Reply
:iconpuddlethecat:
puddlethecat Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
In my new poem, I added punctuation just for you. :L
Reply
:icontheawkwardfangirl:
TheAwkwardFangirl Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
To me, this is humorously beautiful. It's like laughter though stained glass. Just, I love it. +fav  
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014   General Artist
Thank you.
Reply
:icontheawkwardfangirl:
TheAwkwardFangirl Featured By Owner Feb 3, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
:)
Reply
:iconninufaa:
ninufaa Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014
This has left me speechless.
You've taken me beyond what could be described as "rational" and "sane", into what I can only call a wonderland of mixed emotions and morbid beauty.
After reading this three times repeatedly, I showed this to my mother and told her to also read it, and I found her just as full of awe as I was, even though I had to translate some of the words since her native tongue is not English.
On her behalf, and on mine, I want to congratulate you for making something so unique and so oddly comforting.
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much! :aww:
Reply
:iconradioactivepills:
RadioactivePills Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014  Student Digital Artist
Wow. I'll be honest, I rarely ever read things written on dA. I'm more of a writer, not a reader, odd as it sounds.
But for some reason, I stopped at yours while scrolling.
And I read it. All of it. And it gave me the kind of chills I can't describe.
Very well written. Thank you for sharing your talents. <3 Take care cx
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much! :aww:

Reply
:iconradioactivepills:
RadioactivePills Featured By Owner Jan 26, 2014  Student Digital Artist
No problem <3
Reply
:iconsuzukishiba:
SuzukiShiba Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Professional Digital Artist
I was diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia a while ago now. It's been a long, tiring journey with this condition, but my psychiatrist and therapist have been wonderful help to me. It's hard to accept it and live with it, but I try not to see it as something completely negative. I always found art to be very therapeutic for me as I could express what I was going through with it. And even though some days can be a nightmare, I don't see it as something that stops me from being who I am or from stopping my life being a success. People used to bully me about it, which made me feel very negative about it at the time and in turn made my voices constantly tell me I was a failure and that I wouldn't get anywhere in life. I was determined not to let this be true. And I showed them. I studied as hard as I could and got 98.3% in my university level paleontology exam. It might not be a whole lot to other people, but to me this was proof that I wasn't going to give in and be a 'failure'. So I'm happy with what has happened and am starting to see life more positively now.

This was a very nice poem for me to read. It is very beautifully written and you have a lot of talent for writing. I think it will also encourage people to see schizophrenia in a different light. Thank you for writing this. :)
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014   General Artist
You have such a beautiful story. :hug:

Thank you so much for your kind comment. :aww:
Reply
:iconicykitsunestorm:
IcyKitsuneStorm Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Beautiful. Congrats on the DD! :)
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much! :aww:
Reply
:iconicykitsunestorm:
IcyKitsuneStorm Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
You're welcome! :)
Reply
:iconkagnomi2:
kagnomi2 Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014
When I read this, I can't help but think of Kelly Thomas, a homeless schizophrenic man beaten to death by policemen who were just found not guilty.
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014   General Artist
That a fact?
Reply
:iconkagnomi2:
kagnomi2 Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014
Yep. I think for a bit, people were ready to riot in LA. He was harmless and was beaten so heavily by policemen that he was in a coma. There were even surveillance videos of him crying for them to stop and calling for his dad.
Reply
:icontaika-jinx:
Taika-Jinx Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I commend your literacy and ability to stay objective at controversial subjects enough to view multiple perspectives. :) I enjoy reading the judgement vs faithful personification. This is one of those pieces that shows self compassion. I used to do a lot of role-playing so having multiple voices in my head isn't exactly uncommon. It is funny because the problem isn't the complaints in your head. The voices are just letting you be aware of problems. When you listen to the voices in your head and resolve problems then there can be peace, for the most part. Fear is just another subset emotion caused by a stronger loss of another emotion for instance joy. The problems do not lie in our symptoms. It lies in our inability to solve a problem that is causing the symptoms. I find it wonderful to see pieces of faith and right to life (I also do not mean this from a religious standpoint). I will not be taxing on your for not writing a report or having perfect grammar. It's a poem. That's why it is called a poem.

Nice and tasty morsel.
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 13, 2014   General Artist
Thank you very much! :aww:
Reply
:iconbeautifulmind85:
BeautifulMind85 Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
I know what you are writing about, you put that into very beautiful words to me, it feels very close. I never felt I have a disease, only others did.
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 12, 2014   General Artist
Thank you. :heart:
Reply
:iconbeautifulmind85:
BeautifulMind85 Featured By Owner Jan 17, 2014  Student Traditional Artist
you're very welcome. I am glad someone is able to see things this way <3
Reply
:iconnymphedorra:
Nymphedorra Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014  Student Photographer
I love this. This made me cry. You truly have a way with words, madam. *adds you to deviant watch*
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014   General Artist
Thank you!
Reply
:iconsheik91:
Sheik91 Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014
If you want to know what "psychology" defines schizophrenia as, I suggest you take a look in the DSM V. While the DSM V is an abomination from my humble point of view it reflects the scientific consens (as if such a thing even existed) about what disorder is what. While your writing is pretty, I do not see this reflecting realistically at all what "psychology" thinks about schizophrenia, rather some ill-informed assumptions about what it would say. Another thing I have my gripes with is the romantization of mental disorder (even something as severe as schizophrenia, and geunine schizophrenia is a severe condition). While all experience is justified, we have to draw a line where lifes are at stake.
Reply
:iconflyqueen:
FlyQueen Featured By Owner Jan 14, 2014   Digital Artist
This. 
The poem romanticise a little bit too much in my opinion. 
But I guess that's normal in todays internet-communities...Everybody wants to be "a little bit crazy" to make them feel special and different.
And this really makes me feel sick.
Reply
:iconblack-angel-dan:
Black-Angel-Dan Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
The DSM is treated like a Bible in Psychology, but one just has to look at WHO makes the DSM to know it's complete BS. What do pharmacy cooperations have to do with treatment of mental conditions?!
Reply
:iconsheik91:
Sheik91 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014
The DSM is little good, I do agree. There is a place for psychopharmacy, but again, I agree that making money should not be the point of any health service. You seem to be misreading my comment.
Reply
:iconblack-angel-dan:
Black-Angel-Dan Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014  Student Writer
If I did seem as if I did, I apologise, I am certain I did not. I was agreeing with you there.
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 5, 2014   General Artist
I know, I've read the DSM V many times, believe me. I wasn't using the information from my own knowledge, I was using it from a societal point of view. And I still can't seem to understand how I romanticised schizophrenia. If you would, please explain. 
Reply
:iconsheik91:
Sheik91 Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014
opYou have chosen to describe the pretty face of schizophrenia, so to speak. While that is all just and good, it is only part of the bigger picture. Reading the poem almost conveys the message that schizophrenia doesn't need to treated, which is most certainly neither right nor ethic given the condition is severe enough to be considered clinically significant. Further, it portrays a picture of "psychology" (and by that token, science as a broader field) as the "enemy", which is rather paranoid from my humble point of view.
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 6, 2014   General Artist
Well, yes, I have decided to describe the "pretty face" of schizophrenia for three reasons: because all that's ever shown is the "ugly face", because some people with schizophrenia don't need to be locked up and treated for years, and because I am taking advantage of my creative freedom to explicate that schizophrenia can most definitely be surmounted. I only wanted to show folks that not all forms of schizophrenia are bad, or if you will, debilitating but rather, some can be psychologically uplifting. 
Reply
:iconzanarke:
Zanarke Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014
I am glad this is moving people to no disable people based on a mental predisposition. It is society that disables people not afflictions. But as medical student, drawing the line between poetic license and incorrect statements is difficult. This is very  nice, but not all of it is true when it comes down to definitions. But I do appreciate this work of art, as art. So well done :)
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014   General Artist
I know, I was writing from a societal standpoint on the disorder. Thank you much! :aww:
Reply
:icontinytonbo:
tinyTonbo Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014  Student Digital Artist
i love your approach and word choice. as i was reading, i felt like a whole
 new world was being opened up to me--a world not often regarded positively.
Reply
:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 4, 2014   General Artist
Wow, thank you so much. :aww:
Reply
:iconarynchris:
ArynChris Featured By Owner Jan 3, 2014
Different.
Reply
:icontoastedrainbows:
Toastedrainbows Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014
For a long time I kind of thought of schizophrenics as "diseased" , although it was more like someone might think of a sick 5 year old. That they needed love and care but weren't fit for the real world ( I think health class is partially to blame here)
But a friend told me she read a story about a schizophrenic who hated being thought of as diseased and lived life mostly normally. This changed my mind, and this piece reinforced and reminded me of those feelings.
Your poem is AMAZINGLY WRITTEN
The imagery and how the words just flow and stand out creates a vivid idea of Aspen, and how much you seem to care about her is very clear :D

Sorry this was a bit wordy and ranty, but I really wanted to let you know how AMAZNG I thought this was
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:iconcrooked-clockwork:
crooked-clockwork Featured By Owner Jan 2, 2014   General Artist
Thank you so much! :aww:
Reply
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